29 Lessons In 29 Years

29 trips around the sun and a lot of reflection over the past few days. For some reason this birthday has hit me hard. I do not know if it is that we have a lot going on, motherhood, the new moon in Scorpio, or what, but this week has been full of thinking and reflecting. With so much reflection, I thought it would be fun to share some of the things I have learned over the last few years and taking into 29 with me.

Not Everyone Is Going To Like You

And that is A-OK! You are not going to be everyone's glass of favorite wine, but that doesn't mean you are any less spectacular. I do not know what happened in the last two years, but I have really became comfortable in my own skin and being me even if that means it may not win the approval of others. I promise, you only want the ones who love you for you and will cheer you on in your circle.

Your Body Is Going To Change

Hello, change happens as we age and have kids. This has been so hard for me to accept. After having back surgery and two kids all in a 4 year time span, to say my body isn't where I want it to be is being kind. I am not going to lie, I struggle with this lesson and the photos I share. I find myself going through 40 photos to find maybe one I like. That is why you see so many pictures of my kids. Some of my favorite advice and love on this topic came from one of my favorite IG influencers, @jennicathomp. She told me once, "We are becoming ADULTS. We are not children anymore and our bodies are going to change. Also, we are taking care of OTHER HUMANS and every moment we have for ourselves shouldn't be obsessing over image.". I took this to heart. She is always killing it and displaying confidence. I want to radiate that, too. I have gotten better over the last few months all because of how I talk to myself. It is crazy how your body confidence and how your view of your body image changes with a little self love. I grew and keep alive two humans for goodness sake! My body deserves all the cred no matter what pant size I have to get the next time I am at Old Navy.

Everyone Changes

The people you knew in high school are not the same people most likely. Let me explain it simply, everyone grows, changes, and has different life experiences that make them who they are. Just because someone was one way in high school with a certain set of beliefs doesn't mean they are still that way now 10 years later. This really came to me while prepping for and at our 10 year class reunion. It was definitely interesting to see how everyone changed. All of this to say, do not think you know someone based off of your experiences in years past. Change is possible.

Sh*t Happens

Life is a crazy roller coaster that can throw you for a loop at any given moment. Nothing is guaranteed and your situation can change in an instant. A wise quote I picked up while working for Todd Ouellette is, "Life is only 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.". HARD TRUTH. Every situation can have a different outcome based on how you react. Two people can be in the exact same situation but how they come out of it can differ based on the decisions they make. Choose wisely. Before jumping to conclusions or taking the easiest path, really think about how those decisions will affect you long term. And just remember, you are not the first nor will be the last going through that sh*tty situation. Remain calm, think clearly, do not jump to conclusions, and choose wisely.

Don't Half Ass It

This goes for ANYTHING in life. Love, marriage, parenting, career, hobbies, throwing a party, etc... If you are going to do it, make it worth your while and DO IT. You will never regret giving your all, but regret does come when you choose to commit halfway.

Always Show Up

I do not have many life regrets, but the ones I do are mostly due to now showing up. Do not miss the moment, because once you do there is no getting it back. Spend the extra time with your kids at the playground, sit and listen to your grandparents for 5 more minutes, stay on the phone with your mom a little bit longer, be there for your best friend. You will NEVER regret those moments.

Commit and Stick To It

This is hard! Honestly, I am still working on this lesson. I drive Blake NUTS in our marriage because I will do something 100% for 3 days, not see results, then quit. I guess that can be considered on of my flaws that I am learning to work through. BUT, I can tell you the times I have committed, like in my quiet time and reading the Bible every morning, it has paid off. So maybe I am not the best person to give you this advice, but I promise it is good advice to take with us.

Love Hard

This has been a hard lesson for me. I tend to be more reserved when it comes to who I choose to love. It just takes me a while to trust someone. I guess Cooper, my oldest, gets it honest. Now once I know you and trust you, I will love you and stand up for you until the end of time. That is until you betray me. That is where this lesson begins. I have found that through grace, forgiveness, and continuing to show love life is better. Not just for the other person, but for me as well. I used to hold on to that betrayal for forever. Never letting it slip my mind and eating away at me. Then one day, through Jesus alone, I finally was able to understand the true concept of love, grace, and forgiveness. So now I choose to love hard. Even those who betray still deserve love and kindness. Remember, Judas ate too.

Everyone Is Running A Different Race

We are all at different stages in life, so for the love of Pete do not compare your accomplishments and life to others. Everyone runs a different path. I am not quite sure who in society came up with this idea that you are suppose to go to college, marry, buy a house, buy a car, and start a family before 30, but they are crazy. That cookie cutter mold is not for everyone, and man would life be boring if it was. I know, you may think I am hypocrite because that is the path I followed, but this is what I wanted. I am here saying this because there is NOTHING WRONG with not doing that. You have to live your life and chase the dreams God has given you. If that means being 35, single, living in a super trendy loft in the big city, crushing your career, DO IT. But remember what ever race path you decide to run, don't half ass it. ;)

Do What Makes You Happy

Always take time for the things that make you happy and recharge you. Even if it is just once a week. Do it. You need it to keep you going. We all tend to push ourselves to empty way to often. Take the walk, dance, read, go to the spa, what ever it is do it and do it often. You need to fill your tank to be able to be your best.

Find One Dish And Cook It Well

I am not saying you need to be a 5 star chef, but having one recipe that you can cook well really comes in handy. From pot lucks to Friendsgivings, be known for your signature dish.

Find Your Favorite Drink

This is my sales/business side coming out, but at any function where cocktails will be served be prepared to know your favorite drink and how to make it. It does not have to be anything "fancy". Mine is a glass of cabernet or a gin and tonic with lime. These are my go to staples at any after hours business gatherings. Also, another lesson that is not on the list but goes with this topic. Do not get too intoxicated or black out drunk at social gatherings. I promise, nothing good ever comes of it and you will regret it. Trust me from experience and learning the hard way.

Read, Read, Read

I do not even care what it is, just read a few minutes every day. I started doing this at the beginning of the year and it has made a difference in my writing, verbal communication, and over all well being. I read everything. From newspaper articles, non fiction, fiction, the Bible, to listening to podcasts that help grow yourself and business. It all adds up and helps to make you a well rounded individual.

Buy Wardrobe Staples

Always be prepared. That includes having classic pieces in your closet that you can piece together for any occasion. I always have in my closet a black dress for each season, business casual pants and solid color tops, a pair of "dress" jeans, and a nice pair of neutral tone flats. I can mix and match these pieces with trendier items in my wardrobe to always be dressed for the occasion but with my signature style added to it. This makes life so much easier as you get older and need these items more and more for work and other social gatherings.

Teach Your Babies To Love EVERYONE

Even if you do not have children yet, do not skip over this one. It is up to US to make a difference in the future generation. If you do nothing else in raising your kids, teach them to love EVERYONE. No matter the skin color, gender, sexual orientation, clothing choices, the list goes on. Just teach them to LOVE. The world is hard enough without bullying, racism, and stereotyping. I pray that I am raising my children to be kind and love everyone no matter what. THE END.

Volunteer

You have to be the change you want to see in your community. That means getting your hands dirty and doing the work to make it even better. Don't like how something is being done or think your community is missing something, don't wait around, do something about it. Get involved with groups who are working to make the same changes and make it happen. Don't have a group for it. Start one! I guarantee you there are others who feel the same as you and looking for a way to also help. Nothing will ever get better or change if you (and the community) do not get involved and invest the time in making it happen.

Make Family Traditions

This is one of my favorites, but can be so hard when you are a new couple or family starting out. It is going to be hard at first, and may even hurt some feelings, but make some of your own new family traditions. I can't wait to hear our boys talk about some of our fun, silly traditions when they get older. They do not have to be extravagant, either. They can be something as simple as a silly song, baking cookies together, or letting them decorate their own section of the house for each holiday. Whatever you choose, stick to it as a family.

Always Work For Your Marriage

Whew....I think I could write a whole blog on why marriage is hard. Do not take that the wrong way. I am happily married, love my husband dearly, and know we are in it for the long run, but it is not always easy. There are days we cannot stand each other. We get angry, start the stupid tally of who has done this more, and give the mean glares. Then there are days that are wonderful. Days where I think nothing else in this world could be more perfect or meant for me. You have to fight through those bad days to continue to have those good days. It is impossible to never get mad at someone you live with. If you know the magic secret to do that, please share with me and all of my subscribers. I promise to give you full credit. But since it has yet to be found, you are going to have to wake up each day willing to do what it takes to work through the bad days in order to have the good ones. Trust me, there are definitely more good than bad, but know when you see the good highlight reel on my social media, it has taken us working through the rough patches to get there.

Take The Trip

Always say yes to the trip. Even if it means tightening up the budget for the next few months never pass up the opportunity to travel. I've traveled solo, with my husband, with family, and with friends and never once have I regretted going. Travel brings so much knowledge, experience, growth, and letting go. It really is good for the soul.

Write Down Goals

Calling myself out on this one. If I do not write it down, it does not get done. What is the saying? A goal not written down is only a dream? Seriously, if you want to accomplish something write it down and stick it where you will see it every day. Stick it on your bathroom mirror and repeat it while you get ready for the day. Keeping your goal in front of you will keep you motivated and more likely to accomplish it.

Invest

I'm keeping this short and simple. Even if it is only $5 a month right now, invest in your future. Start a 401K, talk to an investor or mentor to see what is best for you. But do it early and stay committed. Thank me later.

Do Not Be Scared To Admit You Need Help

This is another topic I could write an entire blog on. DO NOT BE SCARED TO ASK FOR HELP. If you ask for help and that person doesn't help you, go to someone else. Mental health and issues are real. Everyone needs help from time to time dealing with it. Never let someone make you feel "crazy". You are not alone and there is help out there. If you ever need to talk, I can be your person. I will help you get to where you need to be. Just ask for the help.

College Isn't The Ticket To Success

News flash, a 4 year degree will not always lead you to health, wealth, and happiness. Some of the most influential people I know who are killing it in their careers have never stepped foot in a college classroom. Now do not get me wrong, if your dream career requires you to go to college by all means do it. What I am saying is that there are a lot of ways to be successful that do not include a 4 year degree and student loan debt.

Do Not Get In Over Your Head

Remember that running your own race advice we talked about earlier, this kind of goes with that. Do not get in debt up to your eyeballs in order to "Keep Up With The Joneses". Trust me on this one too. Been there, done that, still paying for it. It is not worth it. No one cares, I promise. Just like on social media 98% of people are too worried about what they look like themselves to even notice everything you are doing. Stay in your lane and in your budget. Your wallet and stress level will thank you for it.

Take Time To Be A Kid Again

Never outgrow the magic of childhood. Adult life can be hard, and we all need an escape sometimes. Never be too grown up to imagine, play make believe, or believe in magic with younger kids.

Be The Hype Girl

I will always be your hype girl! There is nothing more that I love to see than other people loving and supporting others. I also love to be that cheer leader for others running their own business, launching their own blog, or heck even just catching up on the laundry! We all need that person cheering us on, so do not hesitate to be that person for others. Other's success will not dim your brightness if you are always being there to support them.

Don't Play In The Mud

Do not stoop down to the level of other's pettiness. You are better than that. Take the high rode and you will never regret it. Trust me, karma always comes around.

Listen To Differing Opinions RESPECTFULLY

Guess what, we can have different opinions and still be best friends. One of my best friends in the entire world has so many different opinions than me. We love to talk about them, debate, and try to understand each other's thoughts. And guess what, we are still best friends. You are not going to agree with everything that you hear. I mean duh, that would make the world a boring place if we all thought the exact same way. I see so often people being so ugly not just on social media but in the actual real world over varying opinions. People who I used to highly respect lost my respect over how they reacted and treated others just because they believed something different. We are all people. We all deserve love and respect no matter our opinion on political matters. So instead of the next time you see a different opinion blocking or responding hatefully, how about asking questions to better understand where they are coming from. You do not have to agree after the conversation, but you may have a better understanding of why they believe what they do.

Celebrate Life!

Ending this with always celebrate life! Eat the cake, drink the glass of wine, toast to others, relax, and do the things you love. Life is too short to not enjoy it. So tonight, I am cracking open my favorite wine and celebrating another year around the sun. Cheering to this next year of finding more inner peace, health, stability, and happiness.

Cheers, loves!